Blackbird, singing the blues all day,
Right outside of my door.
Blackbird, why do you sit and say,
There's no sunshine in store.
All through the winter I hung around,
Now I begin to feel onward bound,
Blackbird, gotta be on my way,
Where there's sunshine galore.
Well to cut a long story short, for those who don't yet know, I'm leaving the elucid8 team. So much has changed in my life over the past 3 years and maybe no more than in the last 4 months. Through it all a part of my identity has been in found in my work. For a while, last year especially, it was about all I placed my identity in, so to leave it fills me with a deep sense of loss.
People have asked me about my timing - why leave now? What's changed this month? Etc etc. I think it's probably easier to ask what hasn't changed, but even so, the decision isn't out of the blue - it's been on the cards for a year in a way, and when I had to move from Carshalton my rent went up significantly so it comes to mind with greater frequency.
People have asked me about my timing - why leave now? What's changed this month? Etc etc. I think it's probably easier to ask what hasn't changed, but even so, the decision isn't out of the blue - it's been on the cards for a year in a way, and when I had to move from Carshalton my rent went up significantly so it comes to mind with greater frequency.
Work aside, It's not been all that well hidden to most that I've felt pretty depressed these last few months. Not without due cause, which I won't go through just here, but yeah - it's been a gauntlet, and I wasn't in a great place at the start. Now we're here, a new year, in the aftermath of my life. It continues to be hard; I can't find energy or passion for my daily tasks, and that impacts my quality and abilities. Right now, elucid8 needs a keen workaholic skilled energetic young programmer with few needs, and I'm not so much that guy. I've also not been immune to seeing friends I shared a graduation year with being promoted and getting on with there careers. It won't be the reason but it adds in. So as much as the flexibility, workmates, and projects have made it worthwhile before, the situation's not going to work for anyone soon enough. The shake needs to happen before e8's losing out and for me, it's now time for many reasons, including lifestyle, money, training, and perhaps something as fickle as my mood and atmosphere.
I'm happy to say the memories I take of e8 are fond and warm. I've been with elucid8 for over two and a half years now. I've had 4 desks, 2 offices, and 5 computers. That means I change stuff more than anyone else in the company, but hey - I like new things :)
It's not always been easy, there's been more than a few late nights and hell, more than a few all-nighters spread over the many months. A lot of people don't really get why I don't mind working in such a way. That's because they don't understand creative work I guess - you get into it, your mind starts seeing the text and code differently - it's like an engrossing story or puzzle, and you can't always switch off and go home when you're pumped on it. It's been a place that at times, I've thrived on the way we work, and that's very rewarding.
It's not always been easy, there's been more than a few late nights and hell, more than a few all-nighters spread over the many months. A lot of people don't really get why I don't mind working in such a way. That's because they don't understand creative work I guess - you get into it, your mind starts seeing the text and code differently - it's like an engrossing story or puzzle, and you can't always switch off and go home when you're pumped on it. It's been a place that at times, I've thrived on the way we work, and that's very rewarding.
I'll miss my workmates, and the guys at ALOVE. It's been a privilege to work on projects that go towards making the world a better place, and to make a difference to at least those people that make a difference... If you follow me. I know a few people are even envious of the position I've had here, the work I've done and the contribution it makes. It really has been an honour for all that and I thank the people who gave me this time.
We've laughed, we've cried, we've lost consciousness from prolonged exhaustion. It's been a hoot... Now I gotta be on my way.
We've laughed, we've cried, we've lost consciousness from prolonged exhaustion. It's been a hoot... Now I gotta be on my way.
'Where am I going?', I'm sure you're eager to know. I have not a clue. Could be anywhere in the world I guess... Footlose and fancy free I think the phrase is. All I can say is watch this space, and think of it as an adventure!
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Phil
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Phil
